1 year ago, Smokes’ and my car broke down just as we were approaching the Nashville skyline. That car drained us of all savings and for about a week, we were homeless. The climate was oppressive. Constantly outdoors, but feeling just as suffocated as if we were smothering each other with hot breath in a plastic bag. And don’t think that didn’t cross my mind. It was not a fun time. It was a psychotropic experience full of unworldly coincidences and out of control, out of body, suicidal reasoning. I don’t think there’s a word in the english language that accurately describes the change that manifested in my brain. It’s not even something a crazy person would be able to make sense of. (And *certainly* not something a sane person could ever understand.) The only word I can think of is a German word, “aufheben”, which has several contradicting meanings. To abolish, to lift up, to preserve… to break down so that you can rise again.
Under a dead grey sky and through thick muggy air, we trekked miles in our busted cowboy boots. Always ten feet apart and always silent. Except me humming one particular song to myself. One song I had stuck in my head for the whole damn week. But it was soft and somber and so fucking fitting, I can’t tell if that song’s presence set the mood for the memory or if that time in my life would be just as dangerous and hopeless without it. And after seeing how accurately the music video literally and metaphorically mimics that time in our lives, I can’t help but think that song was written for us. Anyway, enough of the backstory. I can’t listen to this song without being transcended back to that time in my life, which now, is a beautiful experience. But I’m not always in the mood for a heavy heart and salty tears. Please enjoy The Black Ryder’s “Sweet Come Down” for me.